Thursday, August 20, 2009

La Jaconde

Probably the biggest draw card of the Louvre is the Mona Lisa, and it is one of only two exhibits with specials signs pointing to it from across the rest of the museum (the other being the Venus de Milo). Now, a lot of people won't be able to get to the Louvre in the immediate future or maybe ever, so I thought I would perform a public service and provide readers with a method for accurately recreating the moment of seeing the most famous painting in the world.
  1. Print out a picture approximately 2 feet by 3. Make it the Mona Lisa if you like, but it's not really necessary
  2. Put it in a frame fronted with highly reflective glass
  3. Put the painting in the frame behind a protective cabinet of highly reflective glass
  4. Shine several bright lights directly on the glass
  5. Put a barrier up three metres from the picture. If the image is still visible, push the barrier back a little further.
  6. Hire at least two hundred people to come and crowd around the barrier holding cameras above their heads and make either pretentious or stupid comments (Hint: you cannot appreciate the brushwork when all you can see is some dude's sweaty armpit so don't say you can)
  7. For added authenticity don't bother too much with air conditioning, it's overrated anyway.
I would have taken a photo of the debacle, but I didn't want to be mistaken for one of the people taking pictures of pictures.

1 comment:

  1. That's raw class. One can only imagine the uproar if you could actually see the blasted thing.

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